he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
