id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
