Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Holy sore nipples Batman
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
