i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
