i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize