from now on my penis is your penis
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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