the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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