Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
