I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
