Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
