How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
