Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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