Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
