college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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