I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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