Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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