im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize