wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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