oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I intend to get homeless drunk
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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