We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
