My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There's always time for handjobs
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
