sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
