he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
