I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
