My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
