I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
