Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
