How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
