you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
COCAINE IS GR8
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
