She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just high enough for therapy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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