then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
