just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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