Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
