Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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