Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
