Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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