Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
