You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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