walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize