so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
