Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
