why didn't you poke me back
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
