dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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