Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
