I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
