when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
