anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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