I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
