So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
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