how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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