He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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