i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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