apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
