You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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