New invention idea: vibrating tampons
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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