i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize