My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize