How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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