was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
