Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
