Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize